She claimed that she thought “the age of consent was 16, when it is actually 17, and said she was ‘ashamed and embarrassed’ by her conduct.” This would have been completely appropriate if the age of consent was 16 in Australia. Especially because the woman had been in a relationship with the man for 11 years, meaning she has likely known the boy since he was 5-years-old.

There must have been so much sexual tension built up between the two over his childhood and pre-teen, because if anything will win over a woman, it’s video games and Disney Channel.

In her defense, it could have been a compliment to the father. This could be her way of telling him “your genetics are so sexy, even your son is attractive to me,” or it also could be her way of telling him “let’s convert to Mormonism.”

The woman cannot be named for “legal reasons,” but has accepted her dirt deed and pleaded guilty at the Supreme Court hearing.

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“She said her appearance meant she was constantly harassed and bullied, and has decided work ‘just isn’t for her’.

Yesterday, she said: ‘I’m not lazy and I’m no bimbo. The truth is my good looks have caused massive problems for me when it comes to employment, so I’ve made the decision that employment just isn’t for me at the moment. It’s not my fault … I can’t help the way I look.”

This poor woman! This is indicative of a much larger issue in society! We all complain that the depiction of women in the workplace on television is inaccurate, especially on shows about crime scene investigation and those based on scientific research fields like the one in which she worked. The problem is not that us normal people are too ugly, it’s that these unfortunate, wealthy, attractive people are being bullied out of their jobs!

We need to set our jealousies aside! But if we cannot do that and you insist on bullying people like Laura Fernee, then be sure to bully her for her obnoxious narcissism and her sheltered high-class lifestyle, not for her 1950′s housewife looks, which are all the rage right now.

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The Spanish businessman, Jose Laparra, had looted almost $8 million dollars from Club Deportivo Castellon, a soccer club of which he was the president for five years.

So what did he decide to do with his new “earnings”? Purchase the service of the closest sorceress of course! He visited Lucia Martin and paid her $210,000 to cast a love spell on a woman to make her fall in love with him.

In shock and anger that the spell did not work, Laparra arrived at the fortune-teller’s home in Magallon and demanded that she return the bulk of the money, $180,000, but when the seer refused to give up the cash and he insisted, the police had to get involved.

There was no way for this poor business man to know that her arcane arts were not authentic. Yet, just in general, if you meet a woman living in a dark, terribly decorated room who spends most of her time talking to inanimate objects, you should probably not take her advice. Not only did Laparra take her advice, he paid her $210,000 for it. It does not take a masters degree in Business to know that his degree in business was a waste of money!

Laparra paid the price of 5 American business degrees to a fortune teller for her to improvise a poem and feign a few gestures. Sounds like this woman is the true business mogul!

Let’s just be thankful he was arrested before he tried her magic potion “Ruhipla Exposia.”

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In October of 2012, the retired Vietnam veteran had ordered 250-feet of bungee cord, but did not receive the order for weeks, despite the store having it in stock. Polnicky exchanged a few choice words with the assistant managers of the store and the confrontation allegedly ended with the assistant manager yelling “get out and don’t come back!” These words echoed in Polnicky’s head when he received a dildo with the message “don’t come back” written on the side and is the reason Ralph Polnicky believes this company sent him this threatening sex toy.

Polnicky said that ”[his] wife was shocked … and feared what was going to happen next,” because all known sex toy threats naturally escalate to a full-fledged epidemic. Today it’s a dildo, but tomorrow, who knows? An oil-based lubricant? This calls for action!

Ponlicky has tried to locate the source of this danger dildo via fingerprinting, but he explains that ”it had touched too many hands,” meaning that this was either a symbolic threat from an angry enemy or the world’s most diseased chain letter.

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Gerbil’s are divided by age groups and classes based on the age and “competitiveness” of the gerbil’s owner, meaning if you prioritize the beauty of your pet rodents and you are over 8-years-old, then it’s best you have your own special area, for the safety of those around you.

The competition will be held at a community college in Bedford, Massachusetts and will cost $2.00 per person. It is too late to enter your pet gerbil in this year’s “America’s Top Gerbil,” but be sure to visit their site’s survey to let them know how many gerbil shows you have attended.

Most people’s answers will likely be the same, but be wary: if you select “too many to count,” you will likely be forced to wear an official belt lock and an anal plug while viewing this year’s show.

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