Tag Archives: Middle Ages
The Vampire Problem: Vampire Graves Unearthed
How has vampire culture evolved over time? How were vampires treated in Europe, you know, before they sucked more penis than blood?
Archaeologists excavated two suspected “vampire” graves in the Black Sea town last Sunday, and each 700-year-old skeleton had an iron rod pinned into its chest.
Bozhidar Dimitrov, the director of the National Museum of History in Sofia, told local media that this was common practice in the Middle Ages, as people feared “bad men” would raise from the dead as vampires. The museum is planning a special exhibit around the two skeletons.
“Every few years we hear of the latest archaeological find, and its attribution to vampire-lore,” said a 33-year-old vampire researcher and the current administrator of Voices of the Vampire Community who goes by the name Merticus.
People in the Middle ages were so stupid; everyone knows that vampires don’t wait to be buried and then resurrect sometime later. Once someone turns into a vampire, they immediately transform and return around the rising action or climax. Thank god for modern education.
